The self-styled Special One has been mouthing off on Spanish TV, ahead of Sunday’s all important London Derby between the Chavs of Pikesville and the Regal Reds of London N5.

He just cannot help himself can he?

Bitterness is a hard pill to swallow, so they say, and ever since Maureeno was booted out of London by the KGB back in September 2007, he has had it in for Wenger.

He loved the Premiership, London, and all the other trappings of managing over here, but unfortunately he fucked it up, and the Russian gangster exiled him.

I reckon he was given 7 days to pack his stuff and flee the country before all hell was unleashed on him and his family.

Now then gooners, how much sweeter would a victory or even a hard fought draw go down on Sunday afternoon?

More news, previews, and forthright opinions to come ahead of this crucial weekend.

We cannot, and must not lost this game…. I don’t care if it’s a bore draw, the title is a straight out duel between us this season, and that makes this game a six pointer!

I love the live draw for the Champions League, more so the knockout rounds, yet the group stage still heralds an air of magic about it.

There is no doubting the glamour and mysticism of this great competition, the annual world cup for club teams.

London get 3 representatives this season, and with the final at Wembley next May…. hmmm !!

Ok this is how it works, Arsenal are at the big boys table, all has to do with coefficients etc, bottom line, we are rated due to our constant appearance in the tournie every year, and reaching finals and semis on a consistent basis helps too.

Along with us, Manure, Chavski, Barcstards, Inter, Bayern, Milan and Lyon will sit in Pot 1.

So basically, eight groups of 4 teams will be headed by each of the above listed teams.

Then we go to Pot 2, which includes decent teams with some pedigree… Real Madrid and Jose find themselves in this pot, and that means, they can be drawn against Arsenal.

Pot 2: Bremen, Real M, Roma, Shaktar, Benfica, Valencia, Marseille, Panathanikos.

Teams from the same country are not allowed to be drawn against each other in either the group stages or the first knockout stage, therefore, Barcstards could not draw Real in the groups, nor Valencia.  Inter or AC could not draw Roma in the groups etc.

Next we move down to the shite teams, the wastrels of the Champions League, the vermin, the cheeky gits who scrap in by the skin of their teeth, the teams that are not much cop, will probably never find themselves in the tournie again, kind of like those pony teams that make the 3rd round of the FA Cup from non-league footy… they aint gonna win jack, it’s all about a day out for them.

Spuds are in said pot, enough said.

Pot 3: Spuds, Rangers, Ajax, Schalke, Basel, Braga, Copenhagen, Spartak.

Pot 4: Hapoel, Twente, Rubin K, Auxerre, Cluj, P Belgrade, Zilina, Buraspor.

Basically pot 3&4 give you cannon fodder to play, home and away… but you would not really want to be travelling to Turkey to play Buraspor, before a weekend game against Chavski… even, Mourinho back at Inter.

So what’s the best case scenario for Arsenal?

I would say, you want a glamour tie, you want to pull the best team from Pot 2, to set up 2 mouth-watering ties… as the top 2 go through, it matters not what the results are as the other 2 teams from the shit pots should be smashed up anyway.

Also, you don’t want the long distance travelling.

Putting all those variants into the play, gives us 2 types of prospective groups for Arsenal, Best case and Worst case.

Best Case:

Arsenal, Real Madrid, Basel, Twente

Worst Case:

Arsenal, Panathanikos, Spartak, Buraspor

Then you always get the stories, the headlines, the reunions of the Champs League, Mourinho back at Chavski? or Ronaldo back at Old Trafford?

Pretty obvious, that the main attraction of this first group stage draw is who Real/Jose will get paired up with from Pot 1, and because of the way the whole system works with teams from same countries not playing each other, and there being plenty of Italian & Spanish teams in both top pots, the mathematicians amongst you will have worked out the very high probability of The Special One coming to a ground near you this Autumn.

Draw is live, on plenty of TV stations in Europe, widely available to you guys worldwide with free streams and will kick-off at 5pm London time today.


Arsenal fans enter Utopia

August 13, 2010

Wenger has never been right.. has he? (note to the simpletons: tongue is firmly in my cheek here)

When he helped guide our beloved club to doubles, season’s unbeaten, cups galore… the issue was “too many foreigners” or “Wenger is killing England”… etc (you know the guff, some of you so-called goons even participated in such guff talk)

We now see every successful team in Europe, full to the brim with overseas players, Inter Milan won the treble last year with maybe a pair of Italians in the starting eleven at most, the large majority of the time, they played eleven “foreigners”

Was Mourinho labelled a killer?

The Chavski and Manure sides are full of foreigners now, they are even buying kids from overseas at an exponential rate… was Wenger not the pioneer in this field?  Was he not labelled a wrong un for pinching other clubs academy kids?

So why are Fergie and Co not getting the same treatment?  At least they caught up with the ways of the genius…. they usually do!

This week saw a turning point in the fortunes of Arsenal.. and England, mark these words, they will ring true within the next couple of years.

Domestic success for the young England players with Arsenal, and possibly the first success for the International team for almost half a century.. owing to a nucleus of Gunners.

Gunners produced by the Arsenal, not bought in by the Arsenal.

You see, Wenger knew the likes of Bentley, Pennant, et al, simply did not have the minerals, there aint no flies on the guv’nor you know.

So over the past decade or so, we have seen what the likes of Manure, Pool, Chavski.. and all those other great institutions of football, have produced on the England talent front, and we have seen just how successful and positive the work of the respecitve managers of the aforementioned sides has been for the National side….errr… sorry?  Who killed England???

Maybe the talk in the coming years will centre on Who made England after 50 years of shit!

So Season 2010/2011 is upon us, and this Gooner is feeling very smug and excited.

Excited by the wonderful mix of youth, peak age, and experienced players we have in the composition of this squad.

Oh.. and not to mention those Arsenal built English players… JET, Frimpong, Lansbury, Gibbs, Wilshere, Eastmond.

With Aneke, Afobe, Yennaris et al coming through over the next 18 months.

Then Ansah the starlet at the level down.

Hmmm… seems Arsenal have a conveyor belt of technically gifted young English players coming through… who is to blame I ask?

Surely Wenger has made another cock-up somewhere? (note to the simpletons: tongue firmly in cheek…again!)

Liverpool up first on Sunday afternoon.

Sunday morning sauna and steam down at David Lloyd’s, read of the sunday papers,  nice Roast for Lunch, settle down with a sumptuous Chilean Merlot, SKY HD on the go….

the greatest football team in the world back in my life for another 9 months.

Life is sweet, life is GOONERTASTIC.

The weekend starts again tonight, ATVO is back… Lofty, Shovell and the gang are on from 7pm, and yours truly may even be on !!

You know who you are.

You are the one’s who moan and groan when a talentless side like Blackburn or Stoke come to the Emirates and park the bus, even City done it last weekend.

Check what you were posting on various blogs Saturday night!!

Yet, just a few days later, when a team full of both Attacking and Defensive superstars park the bus at Camp Nou… you all want to fall over yourselves in congratulating them and their repulsive manager.

Way before they had a man sent off they had decided to employ all their players in outright defensive positions, with only Diego Milito as an outlet to chance what he could do by himself on the break.

Possibly Eto’o was going to muster up some drive to help the Argentine, but the rest were happy with the bus driver at the other end.

Yes you can counter with “at least they won”… well the next time a pony side come and nick a bore draw against us after parking the bus for 90 minutes, you must applaud them for “not losing”


The portugeezer is the worst hypocrite of the lot… remember this little pearler from September 2004?

“As we say in Portugal, they brought the bus and they left the bus in front of the goal. I would have been frustrated if I had been a supporter who paid £50 to watch this game because Spurs came to defend. There was only one team looking to win, they only came not to concede – it’s not fair for the football we played.”

The true hypocrite is the one who ceases to perceive his or her deception … and continues to lie with sincerity!

Mourinho lying again

April 28, 2010

I can’t wait for the game tonight, nothing beats two top teams playing a game of high stakes football to the death.

Playing for a place in the Champions League final is about as high a level of competitive club football as you could get, final aside of course.

Inter will take a 3-1 first leg lead to the home of the Catalans… beautifully poised.

Mourinho has confirmed to the press Ductchman Wesley Sneijder will overcome injury fears “and definitely play” he went on to state “we will see after 90 minutes if he was fit enough to play”

Bollocks, I think he is telling porkies, again,  and trying to alter the tactics Guardiola deploys this evening, Sneijder will be a sub at best.

The position Sneijder takes up in the Inter formation causes opposition teams much danger, he has to be catered for…

Is Guardiola clever enough to not fall for Jose’s bullshit?

Inter will defend for there lives, if they brought a 2-1 lead, they would still need another goal, the elusive away goal, but with a 2 goal advantage, and the defensive monsters they possess, they will play 3 defensive midfielders and squeeze the life out of Barca’s game.

They are planning to allow one goal against them at best over 90 minutes, which will seem them scrape over the line.

Naturally, with the pace of Eto’o and Milito on the break, they will have the chance to bury the game with an away goal, but you will not see a cavalry charge from Inter when they do attack.

You play any kind of open game with Barcelona at the Camp Nou, and you get busted, good and proper.

I can only think of one team with the gonads to do that… maybe our balls were bigger than our brains?

Inter will get a chance for the away goal, Barca will charge at them relentlessly, and a 3-1 reverse which leads to extra time is not out of the question.

Impossible to pick a winner, just sit back and enjoy the fun with a cold beverage or three!

The bookies make the Portugeezer a pretty safe bet to manage the Spanish giants next season.

City are 4/1 to be managed by him, Liverpool 7/2.

Real Madrid, consisting of the all the current Galacticos, and more to be signed this Summer, must surely be a very attractive proposition for Mourinho.

However, I see him back in the Premiership next season.

His overriding reason to leave Italy is owing to the national hatred felt for him… I thought the Spanish hated him aswell?

The man courts attention and love, and he gets both from the Media and many football fans in England.

Would I want him to manage Arsenal (best priced 12/1), not in a million years.

Mourinho is great T.V, great for Media, but a trouble maker of the highest level possible.

He was handed a great team assembled by Claudio Ranieri, the man who is trumping him to the Serie A title this season with A S Roma, and moved to manage Inter following 3 titles they won under Roberto Mancini.

Tinker and the Pikey

I am not doubting he is an exceptional manager, but I would dearly love to see him take over at say Liverpool, and show us if he has the capabilities to build a team, as opposed to taking over a great team and slightly tweaking them.

If City can sneak the last Champions League spot, I shall be wagering my pounds on him taking over at Eastlands from Season 2010/2011.

There is nothing to be gained from managing Real Madrid, the rough and tumble of the Premiership is perfectly suited to the style of football his teams operate under.

If Liverpool somehow quickly sort out a new Billionaire in the coming weeks, that would be the option he would prefer… and then we would get to see how good he really is at building a winning side from scratch.

At City he would have a nucleus to work with, CL football, and plenty of money…  but no prestige.

At Liverpool he would have plenty of prestige to restore, certainly no CL for a season, and maybe plenty of cash to spend.

I look forward to his return with interest.

Fixed draw?

March 18, 2010

The odds of predicting the four Champions League quarter-finals correctly are close to 200/1.

Is it not funny how the knockout draws always pair up nice stories, such as Beckham and Manure in this years 2nd Round…

Mourinho back at the Bridge, Benzema’s Madrid playing his former club Lyon.

If we look at the 8 teams in the bowl tomorrow, stories can be conjured up.

Barcelona and Inter… Eto’o swapped for Ibrahimovic last summer, Mourinho is still the most detested man at Camp Nou.

Lyon have had some almighty clashes with Bayern over the last few season’s, they always seem to be paired at the group stages, can they finally make it to play one another in a 2 legged knockout?

Arsenal and Utd have two stories to make.

Revenge against Manure for last season’s Semi-final loss, and domestic rivalry of course… add the conspiracy of 2 English clubs being paired every season, and you would not bet against it.

I pray for it.

The second story for Arsenal centres around Moroccan striker Marouane Chamakh who is very likely to sign on a free for Arsenal this summer.

His current side, Bordeaux, are managed by former Manure centre back Laurent Blanc.

Within that little triangle of Arsenal, Utd and Bordeaux, we will get a pairing.

I think the odds and the alignment of the stars are in my favour.

Not to mention the warm balls 😉

It seems we finally have a settled core to our starting eleven.

The central, so-called spine, positions of the current team display all the requisite strengths one would assume necessary for a title-winning team.

In Thomas Vermalen we have found our warrior, our fighter, our defensive leader.

The previously much derided Alex Song has developed into a fine midfield enforcer, he has plenty of scope to develop his overall game yet further.

The elegant, skillful,  power packed play Abou Diaby brings to the table is essential to the way the team opens up defences.

Diaby will run the Arsenal midfield for years to come.

Nicklas Bendtner is still a very raw young footballer, all we ever seem to read or hear about is his ego, or his supreme confidence in his own abilities.

Those personal issues aside, the boy can  certainly become a world-class centre forward, under the careful tutelage of Le Boss.

Arsène Knows, So pay attention!

Wenger speaking after the Burnley home game, in which Bendtner missed many glaring chances, gave a very candid insight into the inner workings of the young Dane’s mind.

“He looks at why he missed the chances and gets it right in the next game. Nicklas is really improving at the moment. That was just an isolated game.

“In every competition you always have something to prove and show how good you are. He has a good mental strength and, even if he was disappointed with the chances he missed, it will not diminish his desire and confidence to going to the next game.”

High praise indeed, I rarely recall a player who has received such constant backing from Wenger.

The Frenchman clearly rates him incredibly highly.

Bendtner only turned 22 recently, he has now come out of the “much potential” age group, and is poised to step into the arena of consistent high-class performances, backed up with regular goals.

His overall link play impresses me the most, he is blessed with a fabulous first touch, has the vision to spread play intelligently, and can obviously stick the ball into the back of the onion bag.

His aerial presence has done wonders for the team since his return from injury, the losses against the Manure and Chavski were much to do with giving up easy possession in the final third, as the ball just bounced back off 4ft 11 Arshavin.

I would dearly love to play Manure again this season, I’m keen to have us paired in the Champions League draw this coming Friday morning.

The defeat at Old Trafford was bad luck, we played a wonderful game for large parts that day, had that early 2nd half effort by Van Persie crept in, we could have gone on to spank the mancs something rotten.

Yes, I know, coulda, woulda, shoulda… but, we woulda!

The previously mentioned defeats to Manure and Chavski, at the Emirates, were spineless, not literally.

Our backbone is now nicely intact.

So, Platini, Blatter, UEFA, Far Eastern underground gambling gangsters, the KGB, Paul Daniels, Zippy from Rainbow, Orville the duck … whoever fixes the bleeding draw…

deliver us the Mancs if you please.

Came the cry from the ex-Chelski gaffer, José Mourinho, following a 2-1 defeat to Barcelona, a game which saw Mourinho accuse Lionel Messi of play acting to get his full-back Del Horno sent off.

The man causes commotion and controversy wherever he goes, he is a most divisive individual.

Win or Lose tonight, I want more of the same… chaos, commotion, emotion, scandal, immoral behaviour… I wish to see cages well and truly rattled, complete and utter unrest in West London.

Just look at the press attention he has openly courted since he landed back in London yesterday, police escorts, the works.

More tonight please

A full day before a ball has even been kicked in anger, his vitriol against his “beloved” Chelski commenced.

“I keep winning important things. They keep winning something , I think they won the FA Cup,” he said.

“I feel at home, I go to the second floor where there are people I know. I go to the third floor where there are people I know.”

“To be back at an old team, to be back at an ex-club and feel how I feel is a beautiful thing.”

“If we reach the quarter-finals tomorrow it will be a special moment for Inter.”

“I have nothing to prove to Chelsea, to Chelsea players, to Chelsea fans, to the Chelsea board”

The self-styled Special One, is public enemy number one in Italy, even 50% of his own Inter fans want him sacked according to a recent online poll.

His days in the Lombardy region of Italy are definitely numbered… he harbours a  return to the Premierhsip, his final interview for the City job, to replace the man he replaced at Inter, could herald a tonic to our title hopes.

The perfect evening would be capped by a late controversial winner for Inter, or maybe a hate filled game that sees a plethora of cards and the odd pulled muscle.

Personally, I cannot see Chelski qualifying.

Drogba is not the half the player he is week in week out in the Premiership, when up against the likes of the formidable Lucio or the human brick-wall Walter Samuel, he struggles to gain any physical advantage.

The Champions League is clearly the prize the club’s owner wants, this is the last season for them to win it.

Aside from Essien, they have no other player sub 30 who would get in to a world XI… when did the Russian gangster last spend some big money on a player?

Has he had enough?  A final chance to take the big prize… snatched away by a team managed by the Special One… sounds magnificent to me.

Perfect symmetry… and a perfect kick in the nuts for the philandering boys in blue.

I don’t buy the crap about going out of the Champions League at this stage helping the chase for the Premiership… fine you get extra rest days, but the demoralising effect of losing such a big game would negate the rest. Tenfold.

The benefits such a crushing defeat could have on Arsenal’s chase for their first league title since the Invincibles season of 2003/2004, would be phenomenal.

You beauty

I hate Chelski with a passion.

I won’t even name them, but you all know the players I also hate with unwavering passion.

I took huge pleasure in watching Iniesta score that wonderful late goal to knock them out of last year’s Champions League.

I want and fully expect more of the same pleasure this fine sunny evening in London SW6.

“To feel envy is human, to savour Schadenfreude is devilish”

Maybe I am the devil incarnate!!

To Hull and Back

March 12, 2010

Let’s not delude ourselves into buying the media hype behind our next Premiership encounter up norf!

Hull City are a thoroughly woeful football team, managed by a thoroughly deplorable orange chap.

They were demolished by a good Everton side last weekend, and prior to that they got taken apart by a very average West Ham.

Granted, they are unbeaten at home this year, but they are yet to face a team as talented and as buoyant as the Arsenal XI which will take the field of play tomorrow evening.

When the Premiership’s highest goalscorers take on the Premiership’s second worst defence… one-way traffic will ensue.

Won't be much to sing about soon

Much has been made, and will continue to be made, vis-a-vis the fallout at the Emirates last season between orange man and Cesc.

Who cares?

It’s all about stirring up nonsense in the hope Arsenal get rattled on their journey to another impoverished northern hole.

The Premiership is well within our grasp, let’s hit them for a quick and easy four and add another valuable three points to our Premiership tally for the season… then roll home back to London cock-a-hoop.

Cesc and Song will be missing from our midfield trio, this won’t be an issue.

Diaby will be the key man for us, his powerful style of running with the ball should open up space for the likes of Arshavin to exploit.

Could the Happy Hammers nick a point at the Bridge?

They have picked up only 2 points away from home over their last 6 games, however, a mighty task awaits Chelski on Tuesday night… Jose is back on town.

Return of the mouth

Minds could be elsewhere, the WHU players will certainly be focused on the job in hand.

The impending return of Mourinho to the Bridge, could be just the catalyst to take the prize of the Premiership firmly off the agenda for a few days.

Another fascinating weekend of association football awaits us!